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Guilt.Shame.Ought.Should.Law

 My given name is guilt, shame, ought, should, law.  And I learned well to live my name.  My up-bringing by my blessedly religious family prepared me to continue the guilt and shame, ought’s and should’s well into my adult life—to keep me on the straight and narrow path. I can use each of my names to measure myself and others…to see if we’re up to the demands of law by which I define myself (and you).   It’s really been work to continue to live in constant guilt, shame, ought’s, should’s and by the letter of the law. But by God, I do it, because isn’t that what He teaches?

I had a neighbor once whose given name was freedom. peace,.spaciousness.grace and permission.  She lived very differently than we did at my house. But to tell you the truth, I’m a little suspicious of her and her kind.  All that ‘love as God loves’ stuff.  ‘Being rather than doing’.  ‘Living in the present moment.’  ‘Trusting the invisible Spirit.’ What need do I have for an invisible Spirit?  I have this great big book of rules and laws. They have been carved into my heart, incised deeply.  It was painful but necessary because now I can tell you what to believe and how to believe it.  And if you won’t do it willingly, I have all I need to shame you into doing it my way, the right way.

 I can’t imagine living in freedom and spaciousness.  Who needs to make all those decisions constantly when I can simply turn a page and tell you how to live?  Seeking God for His leading all the time will only get you into trouble.  How can you know, really know what God wants?  Here, there’s one right way…no need to try others.  And there’s no need to trust anything or anyone invisible… it’s all right here in black and white.

 Silence in the Spirit 

 What’s that?  What about peace?  No, I don’t think too much about peace.  I have so many things to remember to do and I must remember exactly how to do them.  I don’t have any time to wonder about peace – whether I have it or not.  Peace isn’t all that important anyway. Obedience I tell you.  Obeying.  There’s the victory. It’s how we win the war.

 Silence in the Spirit

 Yes, I know… even the word victory leads to thinking that God created winners and losers… those who are in and those who are out. And war indicates a vicious battle.  But isn’t that what Jesus taught?  There’s a victory to be had – a war to be won.

 Silence in the Spirit

 He didn’t? 

 Silence in the Spirit

 Well, I don’t remember Jesus saying one word about everyone being included, everyone allowed entry, everyone loved. There are rules you know. There are only a few of us doing it really right.

 From the Silence of the Spirit in a whisper:  

                     For God so loved the world… 

                              That everyone who believes…

                                      To the Jew first, but also to the Greek…

                                               When I am raised up I shall call all people to myself…

 Spirit Silence growing, while still a whisper in the soul, now sounding like a symphony, a beautiful piece of music:  

 What if we all began believing that still today God intends to show His love to all people?  That God loves us all so very much, that He’s just waiting for us to pause, to look up, so that He can begin to shower us with goodness and blessing…  That God is waiting to open the gates to heaven to us so that we might live in the freedom of who we are, in the uniqueness of who we were created to be; so that every nuance of our particular creation is revealed in us, as God intended , so that we experience God and live for Him like no one else…but in such spaciousness of being and Spirit…that we can invite others into our experience of God were they’d be welcomed into the place in us where we’ve received God’s love and find there who they uniquely are in God’s love as well.  And there, there would be such peace as together we stood gazing at God whose shimmering presence would so overwhelm us both…that we’d weep for sheer joy.

 Silence of Spirit returns.  Now addressing Guilt.Shame.Ought.Should.Law gently but directly:    “Why are you crying?”

 To which Guilt.Shame.Ought.Should.Law replies:  For joy, I think.  For sheer joy.

And Silence wept with her.

My spiritual journey along with taking me inward to a deep interior life — occasionally takes me outward in search of new ways, new experiences, new things.  This week my quest for God brought me to St. John’s Abbey in Collegeville Minnesota…to spend a week practicing the art of group spiritual direction with friends from the Shalem Institute. 

Our time together since Thursday has been rich indeed.  Full days of being both intentional and gentle with one another as we intend together to open space for God to speak into our lives and our spirits. It is as fully as I’ve ever experienced a prayerfully orchestrated kairos moment  where waiting on God takes precedence over all else.  It’s an exercise in trust and freedom… where a core experience and gift we offer one another is a total lack of judgment.  There are no fixing conversations…no oughts, shoulds, or subtle spiritual one-ups-man-ship conversations.  It’s an intentional time of grace.

Outside the  ten foot by six foot window in my room here at the Abbey Guest House is a forest of pine trees most four stories tall.  Beyond the shallow part of the forest is a lake that covers one-third of the 2700 acres of St. John’s property.  The first night here, I dutifully closed the drape to this natural wonder as I got ready for bed.  Yet as I planned to do so again last night I wondered why.  So I retired watching the moon rise in the eastern sky. 

But there is something about such natural beauty.  It’s irresistable.  When I awoke a few minutes ago… as I am apt to do… rather than consider the darkness of my space and roll over and go back to sleep, I was drawn to the night forest I could see from underneath my cozy covers.  The scene was more stunning than any painting could capture; Tall, straight, bark-covered trunks of majestically statuesque pines perfectly still in the night. Some of them reflecting the subtle burnt orange glow of lights coming from the building.  Others making their presence known only in line and shadow.  The blackness beyond them, a very deep darkness indeed still somehow beautiful. And as I look up, to where the tops of the trees clear the roofline of the building in which I am sitting… the moon light causes their bark to shimmer.

I wonder this morning about the habit, the fear, that caused me, without a second thought, to close out this forest that first evening.  How is it that 48 hours ago I didn’t see what is so real to me now?   And what are those other habits and those other fears in my life that keep me from being in awe of the goodness of God and God’s creation each day?  Where else do I close the curtain before seeing the handiwork of God?

It’s no accident, that these thoughts come  with all their holy wonder in the silence of this still night.  This time has been set aside, has been hallowed, and as God promised He comes always and only when invited.   May my prayer be yours this day and always “Come into my heart with Your peace, Lord Jesus Christ…and fill me with Your love.”  

 But now the glow of my computer screen has made the trees fade into darkness too long.  And I have a few more hours of peaceful sleep before the beginning of  Sabbath.  May it be well with your soul this Lord’s Day.   BLESSINGS AND JOY…THE CELTIC MONK

The lesson of this mornings sermon was how to reflect the LIGHT that God sent into the world, rather than being part of the quarelling darkness for which Paul chastizes the church in Corinth. It was a call to a way of life instructed not by human understanding — but by the deeper things of God which can be ours when we seek them.

Living in the LIGHT demands more of us than being a clanging cymbal; yet we all have the potential to live as brightly shining lamps. It does however take intention on our part. We must choose to reflect our higher calling. We must desire to be God’s witnesses in season and out. We must make time to devote to ‘gazing on God, and having God gaze on us.’ Being LIGHT is what we offer God as our grateful response for all God has done for us. It doesn’t happen by accident or mindlessly, but only with our will submitted to Christ.

Being a clanging cymbal is much easier. To be a clanging cymbal all we have to do is engage our mouth with any thought that comes into our heads. All we have to do is blame others for our mistakes and misfortunes. Being a clanging cymbal can attract a lot more attention than being LIGHT… and we can bring a lot of people with us as we clang our way into bitterness and beyond.

What might it take I wonder in your life and mine to stop us from holding down the percussion section of life? What might it take for us to be perfectly at home in the silence of a holy glow?

In John’s Gospel, the apostle tells us that the time is now for the spiritually dead to hear the voice of the Son of God and live. My guess is that Christ’s voice can be heard more easily by those seeking the LIGHT, than by those in the band. The choice is really ours to join with Souza or Saints. BLESSINGS AND JOY, THE CELTIC MONK

The lesson of this mornings sermon was how to reflect the LIGHT that God sent into the world, rather than being part of the quarelling darkness for which Paul chastizes the church in Corinth.  It was a call to a way of life instructed not by human understanding — but by the deeper things of God which can be ours when we seek them. 

Living in the LIGHT demands more of us than being a clanging cymbal; yet we all have the potential to live as brightly shining lamps. It does however take intention on our part.  We must choose to reflect our higher calling.  We must desire to be God’s witnesses in season and out.  We must make time to devote to ‘gazing on God, and having God gaze on us.’  Being LIGHT is what we offer God as our grateful response for all God has done for us. It doesn’t happen by accident or mindlessly, but only with our will submitted to Christ.

Being a clanging cymbal is much easier.  To be a clanging cymbal all we have to do is engage our mouth with any thought that comes into our heads.  All we have to do is blame others for our mistakes and misfortunes.  Being a clanging cymbal can attract a lot more attention than being LIGHT… and we can bring a lot of people with us as we clang our way into bitterness and beyond.

What might it take I wonder in your life and mine to stop us from holding down the percussion section of life?  What might it take for us to be perfectly at home in the silence of a holy glow?

In John’s Gospel, the apostle tells us that the time is now for the spiritually dead to hear the voice of the Son of God and live.   My guess is that Christ’s voice can be heard more easily by those seeking the LIGHT, than by those in the band.   The choice is really ours to join with Souza or Saints.  BLESSINGS AND JOY, THE CELTIC MONK

Friends have come to our aid in ways great and small since hearing about our car accident on Saturday morning. The phone calls and emails have meant so much. The loan of a vehicle for Sean and Shana, who don’t have rental car insurance, was over the top. It’s an amazing thing belonging to the Body of Christ, and to the Presbyterian Church in Peace River. I thank God at every remembrance of each of you who have reached out to us in Christian love.

While we wait for insurance companies to sort out the mess of tangled cars and wait to learn what we need to do next, I am aware of the blessing of having all four of us: Sam, me, Isaac and Lauren walk away from so much destruction. Polly said it well, “your angel was with you.”

Presbyterians aren’t known for speaking about angels much, for which there are likely myriad reasons. Such spiritual beings seem alternately spooky, childish or anti-intellectual to most. Not worth considering to others. And yet…

Over the years I’ve found I have a rather well developed ‘angel-ology’ having perused every reference to them in both the old and new testaments. Once, after having delivered a sermon about these beings, a member of the congregation came up to tell me that I’d done a very fine and thorough job on such an inane subject!

My understanding of these creatures (that’s part of what I beleive about them, that they are created by God) is that they are, in and of themselves, will-less beings. Scripture does not attest to them having a free will as we do, which means they make no independent choices. Rather they’re beings who move at the impulse of God’s will alone.  God send’s His angels to us to watch, protect, report, aid, announce, comfort… and a host of other duties outlined in Scripture. When or where or how they appear is not for us to know or choose. 

I have a very real vision that on the infamous September 11th, there were as many angels as victims in the Twin Towers–one for each of them, sent to guide them home.  A whole legion of angels a gathering to wonderful and terrible to imagine.

So on Saturday morning, as glass shattered and cars crumpled, as airbags were deployed and a passer-by phoned 911, in ways we will never truly be able to name, angels were with us not because of anything we did or said but because God uses these heavenly creatures to watch, protect, aid, and comfort. 

Polly’s email reminded me of all that I believe about angels. Thanks Polly.  Yes, indeed she was with us. 

BLESSINGS and JOY, THE CELTIC MONK